REVIEW: Riot Cabaret Pro Wrestling - Slap ‘Em Grand

Riot Cabaret Pro Wrestling: Slap ‘Em Grand
The Clapham Grand, London
Tuesday, October 18, 2022
Reviewer: Mark Roffey (@ther0ff)

We are back at the Slap ‘Em Grand, sorry, I mean Clapham Grand (I only realised the pun on the day of the show) for the third show from Riot Cabaret, one of the more promising start up promotions this year.

Flash Morgan Webster vs Chuck Mambo – Riot Cabaret World Championship

The show began with the long awaited return of Flash Morgan Webster, wrestling in his first independent match since his stint on NXT UK, who got the warm welcome back from the crowd that he deserved.

But who would accept his special challenge? Why, only the World Champion Chuck Mambo who, as a fighting champion, wanted to put the title on the line.

I’m pleased to report that Flash hasn’t lost a step one bit as not only did his signature moves look as good as ever, but his return match was a very good opener.

The crowd here were mostly in favour of Chuck Mambo for the match, which was interesting given the reception Flash had just received, but that didn’t affect Flash giving a really good showing of himself against arguably one of the top all-rounders in the country.

The finish came when Chuck hit his finisher, the Bad Burrito, to retain the title. This was a pretty good match to start the show which not only got the crowd going, but showed that Flash Morgan Webster was truly back. I look forward to seeing what he does next.

Alexxis Falcon vs Livvii Grace vs Harley Hudson – No.1 Contenders match for the Riot Cabaret Women’s Championship

We had two No.1 Contenders matches on this show, the first was to see who would take on either Nina Samuels or Millie McKenzie for the Women’s Championship at the next show.

Alexxis Falcon came out first, reminding me that some of the lighting at Riot Cabaret can be unsuitable for those with photosensitive epilepsy. Whilst cheered during her entrance, she made it pretty clear she didn’t need crowd support.

Harley Hudson was the clear crowd favourite ahead of Livvii Grace, who started to pick up crowd momentum as the match went on.

It didn’t take too long for Hudson and Falcon to team up on Livvii Grace, sending her out of the ring.

As the match drew to its conclusion, Alexxis landed a low blow on Livvii only for Harley to land a low blow of her own on Alexxis which led to Harley using Livvii to take her and Alexxis out with a clothesline/DDT combo.

This didn’t stop Livvii going on an absolute rampage, winning with a claymore to earn her shot. Overall, this was not a bad match, hitting upon classic Triple Threat clichés in an effective way.

Livvii Grace would then cut a promo wanting her title shot, which was weird considering she had just earnt it moments ago.

Murdoch vs Tommy Kyle

The next match featured Murdoch, who was scheduled to take on Joe Lando in a grudge match. However, due to an injury sustained the previous weekend, Joe had to pull out. I think I can speak for all of us in wishing Joe Lando a speedy recovery.

With a new opponent needed, James Lawrence informed Murdoch that he would be taking on a maverick. There are two mavericks in wrestling that I know of at the moment, so you can imagine our reaction when James confirmed it wasn’t Maverick Mayhew (as might be expected due to the CPF connection).

You might say he’s a bit of a Top Gun ready to send Murdoch into the Danger Zone. This was a good showcase of Tommy Kyle and what he brings, mainly his high-flying offence.

I did also pop at his Samoa Joe style walk off to dodge Murdoch early in the match. The chants, nonstop as they were, mainly came from my group (The GrapsMeets Section, as I call them) and were probably too loud to notice if anyone else was joining in.

There was a unique kick out of a Celtic Cross as Murdoch kicked out by low-blowing Tommy before scoring the win with the Deadline DDT.

A decent match which should help Tommy Kyle to get out there in the industry a bit more now. That Murdoch vs. Joe Lando match will have to wait. I just hope the wait will be worth it.

Sha Samuels vs Spike Trivet – No.1 Contenders match for the Riot Cabaret World Championship

To be real honest, for Sha’s return match in London, this was more of your standard wrestling affair. Nothing wrong with this change of pace, just a classic struggle of Working class vs. Upper Class which started with Spike ambushing Sha before the bell.

Naturally, this crowd was (mostly) red hot for Sha, but it wasn’t enough for Spike to implement the reliable bag of heel tricks such as biting, eye raking and shoving Sha into the referee.

After hitting Birthright, Spike would win with the Necktie (His cobra clutch sleeper) and become No.1 Contender to face Chuck Mambo for the Riot Cabaret World Championship.

Mambo vs Trivet. Where have I heard that before?

Session Moth Martina vs Charles Crowley – Cabaret Carnage

I wasn’t at the last show when Riot Cabaret debuted the Cabaret Carnage match, so had no idea what to expect here, other than something wacky. At least the rules were clear enough: ‘F*** it’.

What we got was essentially a crossover between wrestling and Disney (somewhere, Alexxis Falcon’s probably wondering why she wasn’t involved in this match).

We got some of the big hits from films such as Moana, The Lion King, Aladdin and Mulan. It was really fun to hear the crowd singing these classic tunes inside the Grand, although it did give me that feeling that I just haven’t been watching enough Disney. Nothing a Disney+ subscription can’t solve.

Martina and Crowley also gave an entertaining performance, as you might expect from the two, including some good vocals that definitely wasn’t them lip-syncing most of the time *wink*.

The closing act, if you will, came as Can You Feel The Love Tonight was playing when Martina rolled up Crowley for the win.

Overall, a fun match to close the first half of the show which brought those in attendance back in time to their childhood and beyond, even if the focus was more on the music rather than the wrestling.

Nina Samuels vs Millie McKenzie – Riot Cabaret Women’s Championship

This match had been seen multiple times over in EVE and WWE, but with both of these two having a bit more free time on their hands now, I was curious to see how this would play out.

As Nina made her entrance Millie, being the gremlin that she is, tried to take Nina’s hat, to no avail. But Millie would succeed a couple of minutes later once the match had started, whilst Nina was on the outside which got a good reception.

Too bad the moment, and the hat were both ruined when Nina shoved Millie onto it. Cue “You f*cked up” chants and an enraged Nina.

The match itself was quite decent after that, with the finish coming as Millie was pulled from the top rope by her hair, leading to Nina getting the win with her modified GTS, the Primadonna.

After the match, Nina cut a promo, the contents of which I couldn’t make out due to a group of individuals being too loud for me to make it out.

This promo brought Livvii Grace out, to which Nina set out that if Livvii put her hands on Nina before the championship match, then Livvii would lose her shot.

Livvii would then proceed to chase her out, barging though security as she went.

FSU vs Sunshine Machine vs Greedy Souls vs CPF vs The 0121 vs Tate Mayfairs & ??? – Tag Team Turmoil, Riot Cabaret Tag Team Championships

For the third time in as many shows, a new championship was being added to the promotion. This time, it was the tag team championships.

There was a hint of mystery in the air, however, about who Tate Mayfairs’ tag team partner was going to be. We didn’t have to wait long to find out.

Team 1: The 0121 (Dan Maloney & Man Like Dereiss)

Team 2: Tate Mayfairs & Mulligan

Of course it was going to be Mulligan. It made sense to me as someone who had recently been to Pro Wrestling Chaos and seen the two of them (along with the AVA) form a new stable over there (See the Organised Chaos review for more info).

Naturally, there were relentless chants against both Mayfairs and Mulligan whilst they beat down both Maloney and Dereiss at which point, after a Cardiff wrestling weekender from Friday to Sunday and a Charlton game the night before, my voice was finally beginning to go.

Despite their confidence, things started going wrong when Tate arrogantly tagged out Mulliganvleading to Dan Maloney going full Superfight Soldier on Tate and Mulligan. A Drilla and 450 splashvcombo would have done it had Mulligan not pulled the referee out.

If pulling the ref out didn’t cause enough trouble, Mulligan attacking the ref would cause him and Tate to be DQd, causing Mulligan to not only attack security but also chokeslam Tate in the middle of the ring.

I’m sure they’ll sort this out before the next Chaos event.

Team 3: FSU (Eddie Dennis & Mark Andrews)

For many, this will have been the first time seeing FSU team up in years. I’m pleased to say they did not disappoint whilst giving a glimpse into a potential 0121/FSU match.

Though Tate did try and get a shove in on Eddie Dennis before getting tossed over the top rope. Notably, Dan Maloney hit a pop up cutter before trying a Drilla, only for Mark Andrews to hit a Pele kick on both of The 0121.

FSU would move on after hitting their assisted Next Stop Driver.

Team 4: CPF (Danny Black & Callum Newman)

This review may well be going up after the match between FSU and CPF at Progress Chapter 145 has been released on demand. This segment of the match provided an instant preview for said match to which my main notes here were ‘fast paced bollocks’, in a good way, because that’s what it essentially was.

Despite a good showing from CPF as usual, with them countering an assisted Severn Bridge and Danny Black diving on Eddie Dennis on the outside, Mark Andrews would score the fall by rolling up Danny Black.

Team 5: Greedy Souls (Brendan White & Danny Jones)

Before FSU had the chance to recover, Murdoch, fresh from his win earlier, came out which provided the distraction for Greedy Souls to attack FSU from behind.

To be honest, not too much of note happened here, that I can remember, other than Mark Andrews hitting a Stundog Millionaire on Danny Jones.

Greedy Souls would move on after a tag team combo resulted in Danny Jones slingshotting Eddie Dennis into Brendan White’s spinning side slam for the fall.

Team 6: Sunshine Machine (Chuck Mambo & TK Cooper)

Sunshine Machine were not hanging around for the final phase of the match, inciting a brawl on the outside. As the Souls tried to get the better of TK Cooper, Chuck Mambo would land a diving senton to both Souls on the outside.

Both sides would have close skirmishes with victory; a Mambo frog splash which was broken up in the typical way and TK Cooper using a Spiral Tap to break up a Danny Jones pin attempt.

TK Cooper would then be passed Mambo’s World Title belt in order to try and cause a DQ which, after Mambo was bumped out of the ring, would lead to the Greedy Souls hitting their combo finisher to win the Riot Cabaret Tag Team Titles.

This match was as chaotic as you would expect from a Tag Team Turmoil match. We saw the Riot Cabaret debut of Mulligan, which made perfect sense for those who were keeping track around the country, pretty much every team got their chance to shine and there was enough action to leave us wanting more.

This night wasn’t quite over yet, though. Murdoch would come out to celebrate as per their agreement with the Greedy Souls, before it was revealed that there was another member of this new stable, Spike Trivet.

Yes, another Spike Trivet stable. We’ve seen one at Riptide, we’re seeing one at Resurgence, Spike’s got Bullit for backup at Progress and now there’s this one at Riot Cabaret.

Speaking of Riptide, that’s where I’d seen the whole Mambo vs Trivet thing before, it’s all coming back to me now. Like Riptide, Spike wanted to install doubt into Sunshine Machine asking Mambo “Would you trust TK with that belt?”

This then led to Spike offering a match, Sunshine Machine vs. Spike Trivet and an associate. What was confusing was Spike said that if his team won, then the title would be on the line.

That’s literally what I’ve picked up and I hope Riot Cabaret can clarify this as this made for a weird promo, especially as Spike is already No.1 Contender for the World Title.

Spike’s new faction would then attack Sunshine Machine, leading to FSU making the save. Eddie Dennis then got on the mic to challenge Greedy Souls at their next show before FSU and Sunshine Machine ‘Partied Hard’ to send everyone home happy.

This was a pretty good show overall which set up a brand new stable, brought us back to our childhoods and set up at least three matches for the next show. Match of the night for me was the Tag Team Turmoil.

If I had any real criticisms, it would be that some of the promos probably felt a bit weird on the ear as both Singles title contenders were calling for shots, having already earned them.

In any case, I do look forward to the next show, whenever it is, with great anticipation.

REVIEW: Riot Cabaret Pro Wrestling - Slap ‘Em Grand

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