REVIEW: PROGRESS Wrestling - Gene Munny’s Daft Lad Emporium

PROGRESS Wrestling: Gene Munny’s Daft Lad Emporium
The Dome, Tufnell Park, London
Tuesday, March 7, 2023
Reviewer: Mark Roffey (@TheR0ff)

When you see a show title like ‘Daft Lad Emporium’, you know you’re in for something pretty wacky, we just didn’t know what to expect beyond that. So I’m probably being even dafter in trying to summarise exactly what happened. Here goes;

Callum Newman vs Jack Bandicoot vs Leon Slater

This was bound to be an explosive start to the show and this more than lived up to the billing. Particular highlights included Jack hitting a stunner on Callum Newman with the top rope as a pivot, Jack countering a Leon Slater back body drop into a back stabber and Jack hitting a springboard cutter on Callum. Yeah, Jack really wanted to make a name for himself in this match.

Callum would catch Jack running off the ropes in the head with a high kick and gave him a forceful sitout powerbomb. Jack had this impressive frog splash on Leon where he started from the ring post and then bounced off the top turnbuckle before hitting the splash.

Then, just as amazingly, he hit a rope assisted sunset flip powerbomb on Leon. Leon, shortly after, took a stunner from Jack with top rope assistance and did this incredible over the top sell.

The finish came after Callum had spiked Jack with a hurricanrana before hitting Bloody Sunday on him to score the win.

After the match all three competitors got a standing ovation, and deservedly so as well. This was a cracking match where all three competitors really got to shine. Big credit goes to Jack Bandicoot who really impressed me here. If travel permits, he needs to come down south a lot more often.

Then we heard a gunshot. Callum Newman came out from the back with blood pouring out of him and died on the stage. This shocked Gene as he tried to keep the show going with the second match.

Dani Luna vs Nina Samuels

Dani came out looking concerned about the murder that had just occurred, whilst Nina came out and proceeded to pose on Callum’s corpse (great selling on Callum’s part, by the way). The ring announcements were rushed as Gene wanted to move on as quickly as possible.

Two police officers came out to tape off the entrance area as a crime scene. That didn’t deter Dani and Nina from entering said crime scene as the match got going.

There was a ‘where’s our brownies’ chant at Nina, in reference to the fact that Nina was promising to sell brownies at the interval (they were as good as Charlie Morgan described in her interview with Grapple Theory, which you can check out online. In other words, very good)

Tom Scarborough was originally assigned to this contest, but given the situation at hand, he didn’t want any part of it, so Session Moth Martina, who was at ringside, unveiled her referee’s shirt and finally got to be the ref she was meant to be in Manchester a month ago.

Cue shenanigans, where Nina would pay Martina to grab a drink at the bar (it’s London prices, don’t forget) on two occasions. One such instance meant that Dani could very well have had an eight-count if not for Martina downing a pint.

It was around this point in the match where a masked individual was being chased by the police officers from earlier. Had he committed another murder?

Nina would win the match with a rollup whilst holding Dani’s gear. The match itself was fine for what it was but I couldn’t help but laugh at all the craziness going on outside of the match as this murder mystery was beginning to take shape.

Given the obviously sensitive nature of a murder at a wrestling show, Gene Munny had no choice but to call in a detective. Hopefully they’d crack the case and get to the bottom of this.

Fuminori Abe vs Shigehiro Irie

When this match was announced I legit got super excited because I’d seen these two team together at the wXw World Tag Team Festival last year and knew exactly how hard they could hit (just ask Kevin Ku of Violence Is Forever).

With all the usual referees seemingly not wanting to be involved in murder, Gene somehow managed to bring over Nikkan Lee, the referee from All Japan Pro Wrestling.

This popped a few of my friends, who were way more knowledgeable about All Japan than I was. If you were expecting these two to go full pelt at each other, you would not be disappointed. Hard punches, brawling on the outside, and both giving each other a sickening headbutt which brought flashbacks to that headbutt to Kevin Ku last year. Abe even no sold a piledriver and hit a Penalty Kick in return. Irie would get the win with a hard lariat.

This was a match well worthy of a standing ovation. Check it out when you get the chance, although I will say it’s probably slightly enjoyed better in the context of the show.

Kid Lykos II vs A Legendary International Luchador

It was Luchas de Apuestas in London as both Kid Lykos II and a legendary international luchador put their mask on the line, Gene had been promising someone really special for this one.

But before said luchador came out, Millie McKenzie came out to tell Gene that ‘Mysterio’ wasn’t coming out of his locker room, presumably because of the situation at hand. Gene tried to convince ‘Mysterio’ to come out (of the female changing room, I might add).

So instead Man Like Mysterio came out to a rap that was very similar to Man Like Dereiss’ rap, just in Spanish.

This played out how a Lucha match would, which is so fast paced I can’t describe much of it in detail outside of Man Like Mysterio hitting a 619 and doing the ‘cero miedo’ taunt.

Kid Lykos II was easily convinced that Man Like Mysterio was in fact Man Like Dereiss. In fairness, it was so blatantly obvious it was Dereiss, but the fans were happy to play along with the gimmick.

Dereiss, I mean Mysterio, would get the shocking win with the four-fiddy splash. For the first time in three years, we’d get to see Lykos II unmasked.

That was until the lights went out. When they came back on, Lykos II had been decapitated and Man Like Mysterio was holding the severed head of the now former Shitwolf.

Then out came Detective TK ‘Charles Crowley’ Cooper, full of puns every time he puts on his sunglasses, who was on the case of the murders and would be investigating them throughout the interval.

As far as the match itself was concerned, this was a fun match to get into. There were chants of ‘0619’ for Dereiss/Mysterio and ‘Joe Nelson’ for Kid Lykos II and there was genuine shock when Dereiss won.

As far as TK’s appearance as the detective (Presumably replacing Charles Crowley), I think throughout the rest of the show, TK made for a very convincing and serious detective whilst having a slight edge of comedy about him.

After the interval, there was an ‘In Memoriam’ tribute package, which included the already murdered Kid Lykos II and Callum Newman as well as Jerry Bakewell (from old age) and Cara Noir being impaled by a spike (cue ‘Fuck You Spike’ chants).

Dean Allmark’s ‘King of the Campshow’ Open Challenge

Session Moth Martina came out to take over ring introductions for this match, with the investigation still ongoing. Dean came out as Dangerous Dean Allmark, carrying a pirate flag. ‘Dynamite’ Dan Maloney would answer the challenge.

Dean complained about the boos he was getting and threatened to leave if it persisted - an empty threat, as it turned out. This was quite the throwback to the campshow style of wrestling shows that many new wrestlers often have to do to get their early reps in, complete with over the top gimmicks.

It was easier for me to get into as I’d attended a Kapow show in Biggin Hill about a month before. Heck, there were appropriate and relevant chants throughout the match, including a John Cena chant after an AA.

There was even a public warning administered after Dean Allmark hit a low blow, a throwback to an era way before my time. After a ref bump (I guess the refs were OK with going back out to the ring), Dan Maloney would try to use Dean’s flag but the ref, who had got back up at this point, took the flag away, leading to Dean hitting another low blow and rolling up Dan for the win.

Despite winning, however, Dean wasn’t leaving before taking a low blow himself and being dropped with the Drilla Killa.

This was a fun change of pace from the drama unfolding which I think got the relevant chants as many of my group had been to WrestleForce shows and were used to those chants.

Both Dean and Dan really got into that campshow spirit, embracing their gimmicks and giving a fun match as a result.

Gene Munny and TK Cooper would come out with good news. TK had cracked the case and would be revealing the murderer after the next match.

Warren Banks vs Omari

Omari started the match with police tape on his gear and warned Warren during the opening lockups not to ‘cross the line’. This unfortunately led to the reason I wasn’t able to pay as much attention to this match as I think it probably deserved.

My group could not help but make numerous TNA/IMPACT references, of which I will spare you of here. You can probably imagine the kinds of phrases and show names that were referenced, however.

Thankfully, however, from what I did see, Warren and Omari would go on to have a pretty good match after Warren removed the tape, annoying Omari greatly.

I was particularly impressed with a cartwheel that Omari did on the apron over the corner of the ring. Despite Warren hitting a reverse exploder from the top rope and a spear, it was Omari who got the win with the O-Zone.

With the match over, Gene Munny and TK Cooper were finally going to get to the bottom of these murders from the first half. But before TK could reveal anything, Kid Lykos brought out the masked man from the Dani Luna/Nina Samuels match, stabbed him and unmasked him to reveal… a random individual.

Not exactly satisfactory revenge for your fellow shitwolf. This led to Millie McKenzie and LJ Cleary, now in police attire, coming out. LJ brought out a gun and after a struggle with Lykos, shot Gene in the shoulder twice.

LJ and Millie tried to jump Lykos, only for TK Cooper to make the save. Tom Scarborough came to the ring and rang the bell to start your impromptu main event.

TK Cooper & Kid Lykos vs Millie McKenzie & LJ Cleary

This tornado tag match is way too chaotic to describe blow for blow. We had an attempted German Suplex train, a double Ainsley lariat no sold by TK Cooper, Millie spraying herself with pepper spray twice, a bin coming out (and a Bin-lie McKenzie chant which broke her a bit), TK headbutting said bin, chaos on the outside, a chair tower being toppled by way of Lykos on one of those low trollies you find at supermarkets and a super brainbuster from Kid Lykos.

Then LJ got the gun out again. The referee, Tom Scarborough, was shot in the abdomen and killed. Oscar Harding came out and he got killed as well (to a great pop, by the way). Chris Hatch and Nikkan Lee quite rightly didn’t want to get involved for fear of their own safety.

Gene Munny then came out, nursing his gunshot wound and hit an Ainsley Lariat on Millie after TK had hit LJ Cleary with a scissor kick. Kid Lykos would bring out a door and set it up on chairs like a table, with LJ Cleary on top.

TK would hit an elbow through the door for the win; with Session Moth Martina the only person in a referee’s shirt brave enough to count the pinfall.

Millie and LJ would be arrested by the police we saw earlier cordoning off the entranceway. This was a crazy and action-packed finish to this murder mystery. It felt slightly weird seeing a coalition of sorts between Sunshine Machine and Lykos Gym, but TK Cooper and Kid Lykos worked together very well even garnering ‘Sunshine Gym’ and ‘Lykos Machine’ chants.

I honestly think the duo of Millie and LJ would have worked slightly better if they were in their police costumes instead of their usual ring gear, but that’s me just nit-picking.

Overall, just a fun, chaotic and, at times, very funny match.

After the match, TK was not leaving until he revealed the actual murderer. He brought out Man Like Mysterio (Dereiss) and Jack Bandicoot as suspects, but to shocking surprise, the murderer was revealed to be Gene Munny all along, who needed an accomplice to do the actual murdering whilst he was off presenting the show.

With one good arm, he grabbed the gun from earlier with the intent to take more lives. But before he could get the chance, TK Cooper, Kid Lykos, Jack Bandicoot, Man Like Mysterio and Session Moth Martina took it in turns to beat up Gene and send him packing.

Gene would then also be arrested by the good cops and beaten up by them as well, for good measure. Good riddance, I say.

Closing thoughts

For a show under the Progress banner, this felt like anything but a regular Progress chapter show. This, along with the midweek nature of the show and the ticket prices for a non-canon show, meant that this didn’t attract a chunk of fans who go to the chapter shows. Their loss, I suppose, because this was a brilliant blend of both wrestling and theatre. You had a murder mystery, action, comedy and drama all rolled up into one show.

The matches themselves had a great variety of styles and there wasn’t a bad match on the show. Individually, the triple threat opener, Irie vs Abe and the main event were the best matches of the night, but they are better enjoyed as part of the overall show, especially the main event.

On a point, Jack Bandicoot is definitely someone who should be on your radar, if he isn’t already, and I’m already looking forward to checking him out some more for NORTH and Wrestle Carnival next month.

In a year which has already seen the daftness of Mr. Blobby competing in a wrestling match, this show may very well have surpassed it. Massive props to Gene Munny on creating such an incredible show.

I hear there may even be a sequel in the future. If so, I look forward to what comes out of the daft head of the Damn Dirty Dog.

If you want to follow me and my wrestling/football travels, it’s @TheR0ff on Twitter and @mark_roffey on Instagram.

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