“There’s layers to the experience”: Reflections on being a female wrestling fan

Written by: Natalie Olu-Osifeso (@TheNatAttack97/@teaandtussle)

I was kindly asked by Grapple Theory if I could write about my experience as a female wrestling fan. I immediately said yes; I speak on a wrestling podcast, I work in communications, if anyone can write about their experience, I surely can.

I always have a lot to say. I eagerly sat down, popped open my laptop with Microsoft Word at the ready. “Here I go!”, echoed in my subconsciousness…and continued to echo for an hour. That hour turned into days, and those days turned into weeks. As I looked at the blank word document for the eleventh time, I wondered why was I struggling to write about my personal experience. It shouldn’t be too hard; I’m supposed to be this big wrestling fan!

There’s so much to talk about because the sport itself, is hot right now! Whether you’re a fan of polarising companies, busy hiding as a Netflix lurker, or enjoying sassy commentary and thirst trap TikToks, there’s no denying the mainstream growth and excitement that surrounds the professional wrestling space.

Alongside this, women’s wrestling has reached new heights within its renaissance, with their matches standing on par, or even better, than their male counterparts.

In fact, more women are watching wrestling than ever before, so being a fan during this day and age, particularly as an avid supporter of women’s wrestling, has been stellar!

So why was I struggling to put my thoughts and feelings on paper?

My guess is that no one has ever asked me about what it’s like, being a woman that happens to be a wrestling fan. Not really.

Looking back, being a fan was the norm in primary school, but it marked me as an oddity at my all-girls secondary school. I was deemed the girl who liked wrestling. I didn’t have any brothers, so there was no excuse for my uncanny love for watching men punch the living souls out of each other, for my pleasure and entertainment. This seemed to contrast with the boys in my life, who never blinked twice or questioned as to why I, a girl, seemed to enjoy it.

As I grew older, the adults in my life would always marvel at the fact that I never grew out of it, but would still feed in to keep me satisfied. Due to this, watching wrestling has remained an everlasting constant in my life.

I wanted to see if Lita and Kane would get revenge for the loss their baby, what new heights Jeff Hardy would throw himself off of, if Lauren and Abyss made any headway with their blossoming love story, and what classic match AJ Styles was going to pull out next!

I wanted to see everything so desperately that if there was any negativity about being a female fan in the space, I remained blissfully unaware.

That bubble began to burst when I started going to wrestling shows as a young adult. From this, I learned that being a female wrestling fan can be an isolating experience.

Unlike my childhood, where the boys in my life didn’t blink twice, some men seemed to blink like their eyes were on fire. Discussions about wrestling turned from who I liked, to quizzes about what I know.

This was also apparent online with the vacuum that is social media, even more so now that I’ve entered the podcast space. There seemed to be desperation amongst some to catch me out, to mansplain a gap in my wrestling knowledge.

Well, I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you what Shawn Michaels was wearing during Monday Night Raw, on 7th April; I was too busy preparing to be born three days later.

Intersectionality also comes to play here, as being a black woman adds another layer to my experience. I’ve attended shows in the past where I would either receive some unnerving stares at my presence, or heard occasional derogatory terms fly over my head.

All of this, plus the issue of representation amongst the British wrestling scene will be a story for another day.

Amongst the negative, there is always room for positivity and I believe this has cemented my experience truly. After meeting my follow co-hosts at Tea & Tussle, and other women across the globe, I was opened to a community filled with love and respect for not only just the sport, but for the women who relished being a part of it.

I can say with happiness that I spend my time going to or hosting watch parties, making mango tiramisu (which has now become infamous within group chats) and enjoy myself without having to justify why.

You may read this and think that I’m being hyperbolic, but my passion for wrestling has only grown stronger, and I attribute that to the community that I am now a part of, and that welcomed me with open arms.

I am a woman, a black woman, and I love being a wrestling fan.